Finding Faith

No one has the words to describe the impact of this pandemic—the Coronavirus Disease, 2019 (Covid-19). Those who have tested positive and experience severe symptoms stretch for a comparison that equals the pain and suffering they have endured to simply stay alive. Service industry employees, contractors, and the self-employed scour the internet and desperately watch news outlets to ascertain their options for locating even a fraction of their normal income while anxiously awaiting the end of Shelter-In-Place orders. We are waiting for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel when the toll of death and destruction flatlines and eventually becomes a distant memory. The fallout of this natural disaster (if we can call it that) has and will not only affect human lives and the economy, but our social and mental health as our faith and sense of responsibility are tested.

As a self-employed, sole proprietor in a small, but sturdy Marin County private practice; I can attest to feeling the pressure placed on me from this planet, the powers that be—our federal, state, and local governments—friends, family, and outspoken members of societies around the world. The collective conscience is huddling (albeit six feet apart) to strategize our next move.

Where is the silver lining in all of this? Why is this happening to us? Where is God in this? Why would he/she/they/it allow such a brutal force to seep into our atmosphere? Why now?

Whether you are experiencing the benefits of balancing your family’s needs alongside the demands of the workplace because you are now working from home, or, due to park and beach closures, you find yourself exploring the neighborhood on foot—you are being faced with the reality that life is full of choices. Choosing how to be a part of that reality is an important decision we all must face. Those whose faith has not been pushed to the brink due to homelessness, crime, loss of loved ones, oppression, or any other significant adverse event (see ACE studies), may feel infused with new perspective and strength. They may find themselves reconsidering relationships, lifestyle choices, careers, investments and priorities to benefit the greater good. Still others will continue the same course they set out on before this pandemic, carrying a mix of feelings and thoughts that ultimately lead to a sort of hold-in-place response. They will make do with the resources available to them, avoiding the risks associated with making new changes and taking small steps to avert crises.

Though it is impossible to imagine how Covid-19 will change the world forever, it’s safe to speculate that the ripple effect of this pandemic will leave it’s mark on the memories of every last survivor. Those who have lost a loved one will feel gripped with grief at the recollection of this period whereas others may feel validated in their conviction that this is an indication of a change critical to our ongoing survival—a sort of wake-up call. Valuing one perspective over the other is a natural human response. Can we ask a grieving person to understand that their loss has a silver lining? Can we expect the validated individual to truly understand the weight of the many losses occurring every moment of every day around the world.

If we imagine our “human huddle of consciousness”—we can ask together, challenging both our faith and belief in good, “why would this be allowed to occur to humanity?”

 A few images come to mind that reflect the human experience of dealing with a force greater than ourselves.  At the hand of this greater force, some will drop to their knees and then struggle to stand again, losing sight of possibility. For these folks, the grief process creates and/or exacerbates pre-existing mental health issues, addiction, risky behaviors, and at worst—suicidality and/or homicidality. In Marin County, we howl for you. In New York City, we hoot and holler for you. In Italy, we sing for you. Around the world, we pray for you. May you find the strength within to persevere.

Why now? I go back to the collective conscience. Whether you are the medical personnel on the front lines coming home (or aching to go home) to your family, the grocery store bagger who lives alone, the retired couple who has lost their savings in the stock market, or the family who has experienced the death of a patriarchal or matriarchal figure—there is no right time for a pandemic. There is only the hope that the world—not only the inhabitants, but the planet itself—has the resources available to compel a paradigm shift. With the advent of the internet comes successful and plentiful video chat platforms, monolithic social and news media outlets, the easy exchange of breakthroughs in the STEM industry, and the ability to see almost anything you could ever want to see. The light at the end of the tunnel is near. The human huddle is working. There has never been a better time.

There will be those who survive, those who thrive, and those who live through this. This pandemic provides each of us the opportunity to think about how we process new and developing information and move through an unprecedented life experience. We will all need to find balance between the emotional, physical, financial, and social toll and the greater meaning of this historical event: human lives depend upon the belief/the faith that someone somewhere will lend a hand. Even when that hand, ultimately, comes from within.

Mind Over Matter Only When Your Mind Matters

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Spring has sprung. The cooler temperatures, rain, and gray days can bring about feelings of sadness, lethargy, anxiety, and other troubling feelings. Thankfully, the days of backyard barbecues, libations, beautiful weather, new experiences, and friendly faces will soon be upon us. With those warm, sunny days comes plenty of sensory stimulation and a lot of pressure to socialize and conform. With ample opportunities to socialize, comes the risk of adverse events (from our distant and recent past) bubbling to the surface. We all have bad days. Some of us have a nagging low level of adversity whereby we kick ourselves all day for doing something we regret. Some experience adversity at a higher volume due to having witnessed, or directly experienced traumatic and/or adverse events. These folks may develop addictions and other unhealthy behaviors to cope with memories, thoughts, feelings, and sensations from these events.

In 2009, the findings from the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study conducted in the mid-nineties created quite a stir for medical professionals and communities around the world. The study was a collaborative effort between Robert F. Anda, MD at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Vincent J. Felitti, MD at Kaiser Permanente. The study investigated the link between adverse experiences in childhood (including, but not limited to crime and abuse) and biopsychosocial health issues (including, but not limited to addiction and illness) in adulthood. This essay is a call to arms for medical professionals and the community to be more thoughtful about the way we treat one another.

In conclusion, the study makes the point that society and the medical industry have become obsessed with the quick fix—“medication and impressive technologies”—to treat adversity that has not been proven to benefit from these techniques. Social taboos discourage us from discussing sexual abuse at a dinner party and six to twelve minute appointments with your primary care physician are difficult to adequately identify, much less address your adversity needs. Take the time to discuss your ACE(s) with a professional mental health practitioner (i.e., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Psychologist, etc.) and notice the shift in your capacity to treat yourself and others with more respect. Prepare yourself to be more present at that barbecue, concert in the park, or dinner party by minimizing the power of adversity from your past.

Sources:

Felitti, V.J. and Anda, R.F. (2009) The Relationship of Adverse Childhood Experiences to Adult Medical Disease, Psychiatric Disorders, and Sexual Behavior: Implications for Healthcare.

R. Lanius, & E. Vermetten (Eds), The Hidden Epidemic: The Impact of Early Life Trauma on Health and Disease (pp.77-88). Cambridge University Press.

Love Has Won

Whether you like it, or not—this planet, the United States and its inhabitants are changing. Climate change is wreaking havoc around the world, the United States Framers’ old world values will be seen as bigotry, and the people are learning how to tolerate and (dare I say) embrace diversity. I recently read portions of the Supreme Court of the United States’ (SCOTUS) Syllabus, Opinion of the Court (written by Justice Anthony Kennedy), and the dissenting views of Justices John Roberts, Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, and Samuel Alito related to the ruling in favor of same-sex marriage. The reading was rather heavy with interesting information.

I learned that Justice Kennedy is an articulate writer and as the swing vote in the ruling, demonstrated unequivocal flow in writing the Opinion of the Court. I also learned a new word: anti-miscegenation. Though this term does not directly relate to same-sex marriage, it defines a concept that we all know too well—prejudice. Until 1967, it was illegal (in the state of Virginia) for interracial couples to engage in sexual acts, much less marry. Fast forward to today, four Justices and the American people in thirteen states still classify homosexuality as a conscious choice (versus a biological predisposition) and therefore continue to demonstrate prejudice towards the homosexual community in refusing to recognize that bans on same-sex marriage are no less ignorant than anti-miscegenation.    

An interesting point was presented by the dissenting Justices—every American is entitled to life, liberty and property without governmental action unless the people of the State rule otherwise. So the question remains, should a resident in Texas be forced to accept that their heterosexual marriage has the same rights as a homosexual marriage? Should a priest in North, or South Dakota be forced to conduct a same-sex marriage ceremony despite their beliefs about marriage between a man and a woman?

Given the above SCOTUS ruling, the answer is “yes” (though I am still not clear how/if that will be enforced). On a human level, the answer is “yes”. If two consenting, legal adults wish to marry—there should be no governmental, or personal interference. However, the question remains: what of the church who wishes to maintain the union of man and woman? To that I say, should your life, liberty, and/or property be threatened by a same-sex couple who wishes to marry in your church, or community—call the police, but know that there is no evidence to support your claim that loss, or violation of life, liberty, and/or property is the direct result of same-sex marriages. Kennedy writes (in the Opinion of the Court): “Changed understandings of marriage are characteristic of a Nation where new dimensions of freedom become apparent to new generations.” Your/Our children will appreciate your open-mindedness, particularly as they grapple with their own identity.